Probably like many of you reading this, I work in an office. It’s not quite the home of David Brent, even though I have my own witless Gareth, but it’s an office nonetheless. It’s not a big shiny office, and we don’t have our own canteen, so it’s the sandwich van or a quick trip to the supermarket if you’re not keen enough to make your own lunch. Which I’m not.
I picked up a Cheese Salad from Tesco’s, and being the health conscious individual that I am, I checked the calorific content, it said 100g was 248 calories.
Well, that’s no use, it’s obviously more than 100g, so they’d helpfully put the 225g serving calculation right next to it . Excellent I thought, I don’t even have to do the maths. 496 calories. Quite a lot for a salad, but it looked nice and filling so I took it.
I managed to get halfway through the mass of lettuce, pasta and other assorted vegetables (no shredded carrots, I checked) before I started to feel full. This is rare for me. I have a pretty healthy appetite and I’d had an extremely strenuous morning of typing emails, making phone calls and contributing meaningfully in very important meetings. My energy levels were dangerously low. Surely 497 calories couldn’t fill me up? I checked the package again. Yes, a 225g serving is only 497 calories. This doesn’t add up.
I checked the outer packaging and was dismayed to discover that the actual salad weighed 450g. Not 225g. And certainly not 100g.
Why the fuck would you put the calorific content of less than a quarter, and then HALF of a ready to eat salad?
That’s like asking how long it takes to drive from London to Manchester and being told “90 minutes” before noticing the small print says “to Birmingham”. The complete and utter twats.
Is there anyone out there who can say with complete honesty that they’ve intentionally eaten exactly half of a ready-made salad? Do you save the rest for later? I’m sure people have left them unfinished, but did you go and buy it and say to yourself,
“OK, what’s the calorific content of exactly half of this box, because that’s all I’m going to eat. Not a bite less. Not a bite more”
I guess they do it because otherwise it would surely be branded a salad for fat fuckers. Which I am most certainly not. Yet. But if I keep being misled like this I could accidentally put on several stones.
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13 comments
<< April fool
mighty wright · March 31, 2006 at 9:48 am
the mistake you are making is eating salads. follow a diet similar to me, burgers and bock all the way……
nf girl · March 31, 2006 at 10:25 am
I’m with mighty wright on this one.
Salad? What were you thinking?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · March 31, 2006 at 11:08 am
MW & NF – I eat the odd salad as I’ve been told it’s the best way to keep my trim and lithe physique… ahem…
mighty wright · March 31, 2006 at 11:38 am
Mr Angry, i think you know you love burgers really, and especially late night kebabs , which lets face it, do have salad in them……
Simon · March 31, 2006 at 12:02 pm
“It’s better to eat a salad than a Saladin.” As my old mother used to say.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · March 31, 2006 at 2:02 pm
MW – A bottle of Corona comes with a slice of lime, so that’s practically a salad right?
Simon – I had to Google Saladin, and I hope you don’t mean what I think you mean…
Simon · March 31, 2006 at 2:40 pm
I’m sure I don’t know what you think I mean. But please don’t tell me, otherwise I might then think it.
US · March 31, 2006 at 4:14 pm
I’m with Mighty Wright – the only place for salad is in a kebab.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · March 31, 2006 at 4:31 pm
I give up – I’m going home to eat a raw steak and chips.
karilyn · March 31, 2006 at 6:01 pm
it’s the dressing they use and the chesse is quite high calorie also.
Sooz · April 1, 2006 at 10:40 pm
I don’t recall which one but one of the MacD salads is higher in fat and calorie than a big fat juicy burger!
It’s pathetic! Misleading and bloody annoying!
I will remain fat as a protest!
Marcin · April 10, 2006 at 5:46 pm
It’s because 225g is a serving. Two servings are intended to be eaten by two people, or one person at two sittings. And this works so cunningly well that you felt full after eating half of it. That’s why they told you how much energy you would likely get from a serving, because they knew you would eat one serving.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · April 11, 2006 at 8:36 am
Marcin – hello – I understand that now, but placing it in a chiller with all the other lunchtime snacks definitely implies, “eat it all by yourself in one go please”