Whilst on my recent trip to Portugal I stayed in a hotel it was nice enough, apart from everything being miles away from everything else, and the staff were reasonably friendly. However, the inclusive breakfast was a buffet style arrangement with all the continental usuals, various fruits, cold meats, cheeses, bread rolls and yoghurts. Plus some fried eggs and bacon so that the Brits didn’t starve.

At one end of the buffet line was an industrial toaster. I think it’s an industrial toaster, I’m not entirely sure what the proper name is, but it’s a big, silver, toasting machine. That makes toast. It’s a fairly self-explanatory machine. At one end it has a Gladiators style travelator type contraption upon which you place untoasted bread, and after passing unseen through the engine bit in the middle, out comes perfect toast at the other end. And without a single John Fashanu “Awooga” to be heard. In a truly inspired additional benefit to this already magnificent machine, the time it takes for the toast to appear is almost exactly the time it takes to wander along the length of the buffet line to get the rest of your breakfast. It truly is man at his most ingenious.

You put bread in. It gets toasted. It appears at the other end approximately 60 seconds later. Simple.

Or so you’d think. (more…)

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