“Here Angry, try this.”

“What is it?”

“Just try it, I’m sure you’ll like it”

I put the warm mug to my mouth and take a mouthful of the liquid inside.

“Well? What do you think?”

“It tastes of pond. With a hint of wet dog. You haven’t just warmed up a cup full of puddle have you?”

“No Angry, I haven’t.”

“What in the name of God is it then?”

“It’s my new Herbal Tea, I drink it now instead of coffee. It’s very good for me”

Oh no it isn’t. Why do you believe that tripe? I have yet to hear a single yoghurt-knitting tree-hugger offer a convincing argument regarding the merits of Herbal Tea. It normally takes no more than a couple of minutes before they get onto spiritual energy and cleansed chakra’s.

I know what vitamins do for me.

I know what fruit and vegetables do for me.

I know what reducing my fat intake does for me.

But what does Herbal Tea do for me? And please don’t give me that bollocks about it “cleanses your insides, and flushes toxins out of your system”, I want to know HOW. I know how colonic irrigation cleanses your indsides, yet I’m not about to shove a fucking hosepipe up my arse (and not just for water conservation reasons).

Why people insist on blindly following these health fads I’ll never know. Personally, I’m going to stick to my Half-Caff Skinny Mocachino.

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