My local Tesco’s is much like any other. I’m sure you’ve got one close to you, and you might even be a regular shopper there. I’d prefer to go to Sainsbury’s but it’s a bit of a drive, and Waitrose is just too damn pricey. There’s an Asda not too far away but I’ve always felt like I’ve stepped into a Channel 4 documentary on the shopping habits of the UK’s underclass every time I set foot in there. So Tesco’s it is for me.

I simply can’t plan my shopping expeditions, I’ve never been able to, which means the vast majority of my visits mean I go for enough produce for one or two days. Therefore I invariably end up in the express check-out queue. The sign is quite clear. Ten items or less (the Grammar Police would no doubt tell us it should be “Ten items or fewer”). There is no ambiguity here that I can see. It’s quite self explanatory and is certainly not open to interpretation. Unless of course you’re one of the many innumerate people leaving todays schools? If you truly cannot count to ten then you should not be allowed out in public unsupervised. (more…)

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