Are there a bigger group of moaners out there than smokers? The British ban comes into force next summer (that’s 2007 for those that struggle with numbers), and already there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth from the smoking brigade about the the removal of this fundemental human right.

I just don’t understand the desire to have orange fingers and smell like a mixture of burnt hair and wet dog? Do you not realise you fucking stink? Please, feel free to stink away in your own home as much as you like, you foul individual, but any attempt to make me smell like a footsoldier in the fag ash army will be met with swift, painful reprisals. And that’s before you even consider the health effects.

I’m sick and tired of smokers giving me ‘good’ reasons why they should be allowed to continue smoking, so I have decided to draft a short argument plan for anyone faced with a smoker making, what they believe to be, a valid argument for smoking in public places. Feel free to use as and when needed: (more…)

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