I Am Livid

You may have noticed that the podcast didn’t happen last night, as had been planned. I had to cancel it due to illness, but I am on the road to recovery (which is a bit like an A road with limited overtaking opportunities) and we will be broadcasting our first ever live podcast via video from 9pm on Wednesday at The Angry & Cliff Video Channel!

There will be a live chatroom (although you don’t have to sign in at all) and we’ll be running twitter during the show and you’ll be able to see everything that goes into making the show from 9pm to about 11pm on Wednesday.

I am currently working on a disguise that will allow me to partake as normal, and not give my super secret identity away (it is going to be hard enough to get re-elected as it is).

See you tomorrow at 9 - well, we won’t, but you’ll see us.

Podcast 34 is upon us, but in slightly strange circumstances.  It was recorded last week, immediately after podcast 33 as Cliff didn’t think he could make this week’s recording.  It turns out he could have done, but we had already decided to have a night off - which we did, apart from the last few minutes when I decided to call Cliff ‘live’ in case anyone thought I might have killed him as part of some elaborate podcast ratings scam.

Anyway, there is less current affairs, more chat, and a slightly longer version of This Day in History where we ponder an alternate universe where Take That and Guns ‘n’ Roses combine forces.  Yeah, I’m not sure how we ended up there either…

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below.  Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Proof of life [31:25m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The podcast reaches a third of a century, but as ever Cliff and I don’t let this mature age deviate us from our juvenile ways.  So much so that this week includes tales of adolescent groping in the cinema, buying a Batman costume, and why the term ‘knob jockey’ is a long way from being anti-gay.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below.  Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Heads up bitches! [31:23m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

And we’re back!

It’s been a two week hiatus, if hiatus is the right word to use when the break was down to me having a cold, but we are back nonetheless!

Podcast 32 contains all of the ingredients you have come to expect with the added spice of LIVE Twitter interaction with the listener (that’s you by the way).  So, if you want to hear about my superstars sporting injury, why celebrities need to take it easy with the danger-wanks, or hear Cliff wondering why there were no women on the beaches during the D-Day invasion, then listen on…

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below.  Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Swine-flu BNP iPhone software crop circle sex tape: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

As the podcast reached the ripe old age of 31, I thought it was about time we freshened things up and that I had a go at introducing the show.  I think it went pretty well, even if I do say so myself.  On the show, Cliff and I look at issues as diverse as the crumbling Geordie nation, why the Pot Noodle advertisers advocate animal cruelty, and we discover that 320 years ago today, a woman claimed credit for inventing inoculations.  Amazing.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below.  Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and sneakily-taken photos from during the show can be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 More fun than throwing a poodle [33:04m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The Podcast reaches its thirties and we weep for its lost youth.  Not on air, that would be extremely gay.  No, we wept in private.  On the show Cliff and I spent our time discussing why Pol Pot should have changed his name, whether Henry The Eighth had to sell the job of “wife number three”, and why Jesus chose to send his heavenly message to Earth via a delicious cheesy snack in his own image.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below.  Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and sneakily-taken photos from during the show can be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Patrick Swayze isn't dead btw [31:08m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The Podcast reaches 29 and enjoys its last hurrah before succumbing to the tedium of middle age with discussions between Cliff and I on what not to say at a Christening, this week’s big celebrity break-up and why the MPs expenses row makes them just like the Nazis.  Sort of.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below.  Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and sneakily-taken photos from during the show can be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Emotional REMOVE_THIS_BIT Intelligence [30:20m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 28 arrives with tales from my recent short break in Portugal.  You can hear my truly embarrassing tales of encounters with blond Australian ladies, plus late night swimming, and we show how the schoolboy versions of Cliff and Angry were so very, very different.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below.  Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and sneakily-taken photos from during the show can be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Swimming in black pants [30:42m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 27 is live as Cliff and I discuss the latest thing that will end civilisation as we know it, the events of the Wonky Donkey party, and my first ever ‘celebrity’ autograph.

If you want to see the pictures I’m referring to in the podcast, you can find them here.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below.  Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and sneakily-taken photos from during the show can be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Bringing home the bacon, while we can [34:36m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 26 is upon us as Cliff and I settle into the old routine.  The old routine of sitting in front of a desk with massive headphones on and talking into a computer.  That sort of routine.

We talk about my free day out at Wembley, Cliff’s old history teacher, and I record another cold caller for nothing more than my own amusement.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below.  Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and sneakily-taken photos from during the show can be found if you follow us here.

 

 Get with the programme [31:55m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

In the late 90’s, at the height of their Saturday morning television fame, Ant and Dec had a game on their show called Wonky Donkey. The aim of the game was to guess what the animal was on the screen in front of you. The twist was that the animal would be altered in some way to ensure that it’s descriptive or complimentary element rhymed with the animal name.

For example, a three legged donkey, which Ant or Dec would wobble on the screen, would be a “Wonky Donkey”.

This theme was taken and used at friends very successful house party about 8 years ago.  Entrance to the party was only allowed if you brought your own adult-themed ‘Wonky Donkey’.  I took a toy monkey wrapped in black electrical tape with a cherry tomato in it’s mouth (Gimp Chimp), and there were many many other excellent entrants to the competition.

And now the party is being revived. This Saturday, another house party will take place with the theme Wonkey Donkey EXPLICIT.

This is where you come in.  I am looking for the rudest, most explicit, most bad taste wonky donkey you can think of, as I only have a few days to source the materials to make it.

To give you a hint, some previous entrants were:

• Swine 69
• Necrophile Crocodile
• Spunky Monkey
• Arse-bead Centipede

You get the idea.  So come on Internet peeps, show me just how clever and creative you all are…

Podcast 25 arrives with Cliff returning tanned, toned and definitely not stoned (this is why he does the intros).

We hear of Cliff’s holiday adventures, I am shocked to learn that Sam Fox is a lesbian, and you, the listener, are invited to interpret a recurring dream I am having (please do not tell me I am mad).

The Angry & Cliff podcast was also reviewed this week by people on the OTHER SIDE OF THE ATLANTIC, which is in America.  That Podcast Show said some nice things about us, and a couple of clips were included for no reason other than to stroke our burgeoning egos.

All in all, it is good to have Cliff back, and hopefully we will now settle back into our weekly routine.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below.  Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and sneakily-taken photos from during the show can be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Angry & Cliff's Late Night Lesbian Review Show [30:42m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 24 arrives with yet another guest presenter, as Fat Jim has been, err, benched.

And so into the breach steps Ickle, who is possibly my tallest, skinniest and most polite friend.  He is like the anti-Jim now I come to think about it.  I do not know why I turned to him after last week’s shambles.  I have mentioned him before, when I wrote about my trip to Cornwall last year.

Anyway, he explains the delightfully happy process of being made redundant and signing-on in Oxford, and we discuss daytime television advertising before having a little look at the news and the story of 2009 so far, the masturbatory habits of Mr Home Secretary.

Cliff will be back next week, where things will return to normality.  Probably…

 

 All we are saaaying, is give piss a chance [31:21m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

It is the familiar sound of a text message.

At the thankfully unfamiliar time of 7:15am.

“Please can you bleep out all my swearing?  Please?” asks Fat Jim in the message itself.

It is the morning after the night before, and after spending thirty minutes dropping the C-bomb like a seven year-old who has just learnt his shocking first swear word, Fat Jim is remorseful.

“No.” is my swift response.

It is important that people know what he is like.  It is all well and good people thinking he is funny, but then they don’t have to welcome him into their home after two bottles of red wine.

“Please take out the swearing.  Please please please.  I have a hangover.” he continues in his reply.

Making him beg whilst suffering a hangover creates an entertaining mental picture, but in reality it is too late.  The podcast had gone on-line during the night and many iTunes users had already downloaded it.  I would not be making any edits.

“People are going to think I am a complete tit.” he concludes.

It is possibly the most insightful comment he has made in all the years I have known him.