I Am Livid

The podcast finally reaches pensionable age - if it were a woman - and show 60 sees Cliff, Ben and I discussing the week just gone, which includes me making a drunken tit of myself in front of TV’s David Mitchell, Cliff getting into trouble at the Tate, and Ben finding the Oscars very, very dull.

All this plus dog insurance, a new drug called meow meow, how to deal with recruitment consultants, and a list of disgusting things that have been in our mouths.

We are also happy to announce our new website, which can be found here: Angry & Cliff - The Podcast.  It’s almost finished, so feel free to come by and say hello.  As of next week, this site will return to being a ‘blog’.  A rarely updated, distinctly unpopular blog, but a blog nonetheless.  Which means of course that the show will now be published on the new site.  It won’t make a difference to your feeds or anything, so you shouldn’t even notice the difference, if you’re a subscriber.  If you’re not a subscriber, then I ask why the hell not?!

 

 Dead Steve and the Pert Knockers [32:49m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 59 is upon us, with Cliff, Ben and I discussing our experiences over the last week, which includes a telephone encounter with a ticket tout, being whistled at in the station, and learning how ‘watching strangers have sex in the car’ became known as dogging.

Ben has also prepared one of his special quizzes, which is loosely based on footballers.

All this plus Tangerinegate, broken PS3’s and all of your everyday items that sound like they should be sex toys.  There’s a lot of sex this week, isn’t there?  It is Ben and Cliff’s fault, they’re insatiable.

We will have a new website for the podcast soon, and so this will return to being a terrible blog.  By terrible, I of course mean formidable.

As always, iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Doggedly discussing dogging [32:12m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 58 and we return to the tried and tested format of sticking to half an hour, instead of rambling on for as long as possibly can until we literally have nothing left to say.  If nothing else, it means you get your fix a bit quicker.

This week discuss Ben’s secret chorister past, we learn Cliff can’t change a car tyre, and I buy the biggest root vegetable I’ve ever seen.  All this plus Gordon Brown the bully, learning sex from the Catholics, and the worst place possible to have a small domestic fire.

As always, iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Handel my carrot [33:19m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Just four short days since the Drunkcast, and we’re back for Podcast 57, where Cliff and I are joined by Ben, live from his toilet, all thanks to the magic of Skype.

We chat about how little we remember of Friday’s show, how Cliff and I have made idiots of ourself recently, and we come up with a solution to the perennial problem of fat people on planes.

All this plus birthdays for tennis players, gangster rappers and Islamic paramilitary organisations - hurray for February 16th!

Now that we have figured out how to use Skype properly, we would welcome callers to future shows, so if you happen to be a Skype users, feel free to add us (we’re ‘angryandcliff’ surprisingly), and maybe we’ll get you into a show in the near future.

As always, iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

This is Ben, mid recording, on his webcam, pondering what to set light to, his cigarette, or his hamster.

It was the cigarette, by the way.

 

 You ain't getting on no plane, fool [31:22m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 56 is the point we enter our ‘experimental’ phase.  And what better way to experiment than by getting really drunk and then talking live on the Internet, and recording that drunken babble?

This is the bit where I mention some of the things we talked about, but drink has this strange effect where I’m not really sure what we spent 50 minutes discussing.  I’ve got vague memories of a story about Ben being hit on by a tramp, and I think he might well have got married to Cliff.  The rest, I really have no idea…

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 The Drunkcast! [51:03m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 55 is live with myself, Cliff and Ben chewing the fat over topics as diverse as Cliff accidentally teaching his kids how to correctly use swear words, why I shouldn’t cut my own hair, and how Sir Jimmy Saville clearly hates Ben.

Each of us also shares an online conversation we’ve had with a website help operator, and we still can’t decide if they’re actually human or not.

All this plus regular segment On This Day in History with births, deaths and the quite lengthy origins of Groundhog Day.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Eating Blue Nun [41:34m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 54 is here with myself, Cliff and Ben and we’re joined by William Hague.  Well, not William Hague but someone who sounds like William Hague.  Okay, it’s not someone who sounds like William Hague, it’s someone who thinks they sound like William Hague - but that would have made a rubbish title for the show.

Cliff tells us all about his meeting with a genuine rock star, Ben sets Cliff and I the toughest sports movie quiz you are ever likely to take part in, and we wonder about the origins of Australia Day whilst remembering as many foreign chat up lines as we can.

All this plus regular segment On This Day in History with births, deaths and the renaming of St Petersburg.  Go and have a listen.  Go on.  Do it.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 William Hague pays a visit [43:51m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

After a hiatus so long it feels like we’re coming out of retirement, podcast 53 is here!  Joining Cliff and I once again is Ben Piears, who is appearing with such regularity that we have decided to permanently add him to our show’s cover image.  It is an uncanny likeness, I am sure you will agree.

This week we catch up on Christmas and New Year, with hangovers, passive aggressive relatives, and texting girls you barely know when drunk.

Cliff is forced to dance with his wife, and Ben and I wonder if it’s possible to die from a headspin.  All this plus movie reviews, an American history lesson and the invention of the Y Fronts.  It would be remiss of you not to listen.

As it’s been so long, it’s possible you’ve been unsubscribed from iTunes (I think this happens if you don’t download something for three weeks), so don’t forget to press subscribe HERE.

Or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Which came first, pimp or prostitute? [42:49m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 52 sees us joined once again by Ben Piears, who now has his own blog! (Admittedly, Cliff set it up, and he didn’t know about it till we showed him it during the show - but still.)

In this week’s 35 minutes of idle chatter we cover Cliff’s Facebook suicide, a European ban on loud music and Cliff comes up with possibly the worst iPhone application ever.  Not that this stops him selling the shit out of his idea.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

We have a new show logo too!

 

 Handy-apped [35:46m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We ventured into the second half of our century of podcasts without regular guest Ben, who has developed some form of winter vomiting disease.  We were happy for him to stay away.

In his absence, Cliff tells us about going to a school disco (with his children, he is not a pervert), I explain why I am going to party in Simon Cowell’s honour, and we discuss the strange twinning of Swindon with Disney World.

All this plus, Tiger Woods, Kim Basinger, office parties and me trying to get you to buy my NewsArse book.  Honestly, you’d be a fool not to listen.  Or just a bit busy.  Or about to do something else.  Actually, there are a lot of perfectly valid excuses not to listen, now that I think about it.

Look, if you’re not doing anything too important for the next half an hour or so, have a listen, how’s that?

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Tiger Woods and the twin whores [49:18m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I realise that hardly anyone visits these pages these days, seeing as I never write anything any more.  But the truth is, I have been writing, just not here.  My other pet project, NewsArse, has been keeping me very busy indeed, and we’ve now released a book of the top stories from the year - Amused By The World.

Headlines you will find inside include:

“Successful Earth Hour delays inevitable global catastrophe, by an hour”

“World pig population shows signs of man-flu pandemic”

“New MPs Code of Conduct to include every possible definition of the word ‘thievery’”

“Ryanair to charge customers for breathable air”

“Americans protest for the right to make insurance companies richer”

“Cockney violence marred by footballing outbreak”

It has even been described by Stephen Fry on Twitter as “Good” (this is genuinely the highest accolade you can get on the Internet these days, honest).

If you are the sort of person who gives people books for Christmas, maybe you’d like to give them this one? You know, if you want to, like.  No pressure.  Honest.  You can buy NewsArse the book - Amused By The World or click the image below to go to the book’s page.

After a few weeks away we have finally reached podcast number 50!

Despite me coughing and spluttering my way through the recording, we managed to cover Ben leaving Facebook, Cliff being a Stuncle, and why watching Katie Price eating a Kangaroo anus has been the televisual highlight of the year so far.

All this plus film reviews, On This Day, and Tiger Woods most wayward drive to date.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Johnny Two Saints [57:40m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 49, the penultimate show before our half-century extravaganza!  This week sees Ben Piears brave hypothermia and phone in from his holidays to take place in the quiz of the year so far - “Aerosmith song OR Porn film”.  Trust me, it’s a lot harder than it sounds (porn film? - ed)

Cliff and I also discuss the week’s news which includes sickening amounts of money being won on the lottery, Simon Cowell being sickening on television and a sickening letter sent by Gordon Brown.  I’m amazed we kept our dinners down to be honest.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 Dude looks like a ladyboy [34:56m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Podcast 48 sees Ben throw a sickie as the slightly-less-dynamic duo of myself and Cliff take control of the reins, just like in the olden days.

The news is dominated by drug tsars, Wayne Rooney’s baby and getting a job as Al Qaeda’s Mr. 10%.  We also invent a new game for naming dubious sexual activities, which many of you joined in through Twitter and Facebook (the best ones were all name-checked!).  We were also joined by motoring correspondent Sam Burnett who explained to Cliff why the Formula One season went beyond Brazil.

iTunes users can subscribe by clicking here or you can listen to the podcast by pressing the play button below. Clever people can subscribe in their player of choice with the feed which is here.

Twitter updates and the opportunity to be in next week’s show will be found if you follow us here.

Or, you could join our Facebook group here and drop us an email at podcastREMOVE_THIS_BIT@iamlivid.com.

 

 It's been itching since that Cleveland Peapod [38:00m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download